Much like sexuality, I believe that a person’s nature within Dominance and submission lies on a spectrum.  If Dominant were on the left and submissive on the right, Switch would be smack dab in the middle.

Dominant ————————- Switch ————————— Submissive

I firmly believe that these are natural states of being. Sure, a Dom(me) can try being submissive on occasion or a sub can try to top from the bottom but it will never quite feel right. Because their nature is their nature.

For a Switch, like myself, I experience both. But this is not something that is happening at the same time. In my experience, and from taking with other Switches, we tend to assume a role almost immediately after our first interaction with you. I will only ever be either Domme or sub with you.

Here’s an example of what happens subconsciously when my Switch brain is trying to determine my role:

(For this metaphor, imagine we are dogs vying for the role of alpha.)

You bark.

I bark back.

You’re not used to that. You back down. I’m now Domme.

OR

You bark.

I bark back.

You bark again.

I bark back but louder.

You’re not used to that. You back down. I’m now Domme.

OR

You bark.

I bark back.

You bark again.

I bark back but louder.

You get in my face, you don’t bark but snarl. I back down. I am sub.

But you’re a Switch, you’re not a “real” Domme!

First off, go fuck yourself if you think this. I’m more naturally ‘Domme’ than most. And secondly, being a switch means I can understand what is going on in your subbie mind. I know what it’s like to crave the freedom that comes with giving up control. And I also know the fear that can go along with it. The experiences that I have had while submissive have informed the way that I dom and I believe I am a better Domme because of it.

Some Switches don’t even like to tell people that they are a Switch because we constantly get shit for it. So, all of this is to say, don’t be a dick. Don’t assume anything. If you are curious what’s going on in my mind, I’m happy to answer questions (as long as you approach with the appropriate tribute, of course). 

This is meant to be merely information. I will be going into how I handle being a Switch (aka, how to be a sub and also have subs) in another post up soon!

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