BDSM and Mental Health

Let me start off by saying BDSM should never be a substitute for therapy. Is engaging in BDSM practices therapeutic for some? Yes. But if it is being used as such, it should be under the guidance of a licensed professional.

With that out of the way, let’s begin at the end.

Aftercare.

Aftercare is what is sometimes needed for a sub (or even a Dom(me)) at the conclusion of a scene. Aftercare can take many forms. If it has been a physically taxing scene for a sub, aftercare might be helping to tend to any marks or bruises. If a sub has slipped into subspace, aftercare might be staying with the sub until they have returned to “normal” mental clarity. I am a Domme that does believe aftercare is important and will engage with it if necessary.

There has been some talk lately that a Dom(me) should not be responsible for the care of another grown adult. I find this completely false when it comes to D/s. When you choose to take on a dominant role, you are also taking on the responsibility of the sub’s care and well being.

A big reason why aftercare is also important is to help keep subdrop at bay. Subdrop can occur once all of those amazing endorphins that you received during play go away. It can mirror an episode of depression and can occur right after play has happen, up to days after. For those that may already suffer from depression, they might feel subdrop even more intensely.

Dom(me)-drop can sometimes also occur. When relating to a session, a Dom(me) might be worried that they have pushed their sub too far. Dom(me)-drop can also be felt when a long time sub simply leaves.

It’s always important to take care of you. As a sub, I know you can feel like a failure if you need to take a step back. And as a Dom(me), I know you can feel like you’re letting your subs down if you need a break. But sometimes is absolutely essential. As always, communicate your needs to one another and you’ll your relationship will only become strong because of it.

I recently took a small break from Twitter. I was feeling bogged down by it and wasn’t really enjoying the fetish in the same way anymore. It gave me a chance to refocus on myself and what makes me most happy. I also got to spend some time with my best boy. Your D/s relationship should never feel like a chore. And however your choose to engage in your fetish, make sure it’s making you happy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *