Balancing BDSM and Vanilla Life

I could have also entitled this post “Benefits of Online-Only BDSM”.

Here is my theory for why so many people choose the way of online BDSM. Someone who is naturally submissive is forced to be dominant in their personal lives and use online submission as a way to fill that need. Perhaps they are in a high position at their job and are forced to make decisions daily. Sometimes this manifests itself in their relationship. They love their partner but for some reason or another are unable to share this part of themselves with them. Online BDSM ends up being the best way for them to fulfill their needs, in what can be, a healthy manner.

This extends to myself as well. In addition to working a full-time job that often requires more than 40 hours/week, I am working on my Masters, looking for a new job in hopes of moving halfway across the country, constantly posting on Twitter, updating my OnlyFans and this website and checking in on my subs.

Sure, this sounds like a lot. It is. But BDSM is a part of who I am and I need it in my life in one form or another for me to be a complete happy and healthy me.

Online BDSM should be flexible. I expect that my subs will be mindful of all the things that I have going on and I do my best to be understanding of their schedules as well. Does this mean that there may be times when I want to play and my submissive is unavailable? Of course! And sometimes that can be disappointing and can piss me off but it comes with the territory of this kind of relationship.

Open communication is absolutely essential. At the very least, I require morning and evening messages from my subs. I let them know if I’m going to be especially busy that day or if I have something important going on and they shouldn’t be messaging me at all. To an extent, I will do the same. Now, I am still a Domme. I get needy and I expect my sub to eventually fill that need for me. But that’s why surprises end up being even more special. A tribute when I wasn’t expecting one. A gift purchased off my wishlist that shows up unexpectedly at my door. A few quick messages that you had to sneak away to the bathroom to write and send me. Knowing that even though you are busy, you are still taking the time to think about and worship your Goddess.

I’m not going to lie to you. It can be tricky to balance your kink life with your vanilla life. But it is not impossible. And when done correctly, you’ll often find that one ends up greatly enhancing the other. If you’ve ever been afraid of how this could work, come talk with me, little one. Let me show you how I can improve your life, your entire life.

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